Safe/Swipes
Protect Yourself on Dating Apps
This ain’t your mother’s courtship ritual! Dating advice today needs an update for the digital landscape. Age-old wisdom holds for in-person safety—like meeting a first date in a public space or keeping an eye on your drink at all times. But how do you keep yourself safe while using dating apps? Here are some tips for navigating the digital dating world.
SCREEN LOVERS
Dating apps completely overhauled how we cultivate relationships. The limitless supply of potential matches comes at the cost of your data. While your personal data allows their algorithms to find you the best match, remember: most apps collect and sell your data. Your subscription fees aren’t the only thing fueling their revenue—it’s also your personal information.
GOOD SENSES
Apps have broadened our pool of prospective love interests, but the one-dimensional screen robs us of the cues we depend on when organically meeting someone in real life. Senses that are piqued in person remain dormant in a digital encounter; those five senses confirm attraction or identify potential danger with the release of dopamine, endorphins, adrenaline or serotonin. Online interactions can obstruct your full body response, so aim to be more analytical with your conversations.
THOUGHTFUL START
Sharing who you are and your ideal qualities in a partner can also include being mindful about limiting personal information. When setting up your profile, be judicious about your location and habits. Review the imagery you add to ensure there are no hidden clues that give away your neighborhood, the kind of car you drive, the places you frequent. Be careful in your DMs until you get to know the person you’re chatting with.
REPUTATION MATTERS
Select a reputable dating app, knowing how they share your data. Read online reviews to understand how they deal with safety issues. Investigate what their privacy policy is and understand where your personal information may be used, shared and sold. For example, most dating services are owned by the Match Group, including Match, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, OKCupid, and Hinge. The Match Group shares your info across their platforms, which may make Tinder a deal breaker for you. A company like Bumble with fewer corporate partnerships, may feel more comfortable.
UNIQUE IMAGES
Use photos that are exclusively intended for your dating app. Pics you use elsewhere on the internet, like your profile pic on social media, or your professional headshot, can make it easy for a reverse image search to link that image back to the real you. Even using a photo of you from an event—no matter if the image isn’t used anywhere else online—can be reverse searched to find images from the same event, and/or a friend's accounts that have you tagged.
To prevent reverse image searching from connecting your dating profile to your life IRL:
Keep the backgrounds basic and nondescript.
Focus on you and not your environment.
Don’t include other people in your profile.
A POSITION TO COMPROMISE
Sexploitation is a real thing. Be smart when it comes to sharing any pictures on DMs and texts. Know that any sensitive information can potentially harm you. Once content hits the digital ether, it’s impossible to retract and can haunt you forever. Coding Rights created a quick guide a few years ago on taking safer nudes that’s still very helpful.
CATFISH OR CUT BAIT
To avoid a potential scam or catfish situation, use dating apps exclusively for finding people you want to meet in the flesh. Virtual pen pals on these apps have the potential of exposing you to fraud. It’s easy to recognize sketchy questions like “What’s your mother’s maiden name?” or “What was your highschool mascot?” when it comes to a glaring fraud. But what implications are attached to telling someone where you grew up? It could be an innocent question, but your answer could possibly pinpoint your birthplace, the high school you attended, and even your school mascot! These could all be answers to your banking account’s security questions. Those are good odds for a bad actor based on just one small piece of info.
The best test for seeing if someone’s legit is to make plans to meet in person. If they want to string you along with lengthy DM conversations, take that as a sign to move on. Your time is worth more.
REPORT
Err on the side of caution. If a situation doesn’t feel right, someone seems unauthentic, or a situation is uncomfortable, make sure you report the issue and individual. Creating a safe space starts with you and reporting improper interactions helps other peeps in the dating community.
DELETE WHEN DONE
Don’t leave your info parked on an app. If you’re not actively using the account, delete your profile and cancel your subscription. You don’t want to leave any of your deets online if you can prevent it.
BONUS POINTS
For next-level protections, take these extra steps to create a clean data footprint.
META DON’T
Metadata is the extra bits of identifying markers like location, camera type, date and other goodies hidden in your images. There are apps available to strip that pesky data. Some sites and apps don’t readily share metadata, but they collect it for themselves. As a way to protect what’s being collected, shared, and stored, consider stripping all that personal info. All About Cookies outlines step-by-step instructions on how to scrub your images before posting online or on an app.
HIDE YOUR 🍑
Most dating apps insist you have geo-location settings on while using the app. Go into your system settings and enable your location but turn it off when you're done with your dating app session. You don’t want the app to be working in the background, constantly pulling your location data.
TAKE THE WHEEL
It’s difficult in the digital age to have complete agency over the personal information you share, but you do have the power to limit the amount you give away.
